The world and I - Two

Most of my life I felt like an outsider and it seemed that I couldn't fit in anywhere.
I'm aware that this is still the case in many Situations.

However, what has changed these days is the way I look at it and myself.
I feel at home within. Yes, it sounds a bit too spiritual but it is the best way to describe it.
Because of that I don't care any more if I fit in or not because I accepted the way I am. Honestly, I actually like not quite fitting in.

Yes, there is a difference between not fitting in and not quite fitting in. I believe it is more difficult if you only slightly of the norm than being the opposite of it.
Somebody probably will say that I'm wrong but hey, my blog, my rules :D

Joking aside, it looks always different from your own point of view and it can be hart to see it another way.
Let me give you an example: I believe it's easier if you know that you're gay, than not being sure and trying to fit in.
Maybe that make sense!?

Since I've been in therapy and started to write a diary, I felt more and more the need to write down what I had experienced in my day and especially in my dreams.
They had and have become more important to me than I thought possible. So I'll jolt them down every morning, if I can remember them.
When that is done I'll try and analyse them to the best of my abilities, with the tools I've been taught while being in therapy.

These tools are very helpful, but sometimes, I believe, can a another persons view be quite helpful too. Even if it's only to confirm my own analysis.
Luckily I do have a friend who knows more then me about this kind of stuff and while I was in therapy we talked a lot about this subject.

Well, we still talk a lot now but less about this stuff. But it will never totally stop because once you've had a peak, it's hart not wanting to know more and looking deeper into your mind.

It's a trip worth doing!

Or to quote Aerosmith:

Life is a journey, not a destination