The world and I - One

Right at this moment I'm sitting in my bed and wonder if I should keep on writing or go to sleep. Normally I would settle for to get some shut eye but I feel the need to keep on writing. At least, until I've got some of this text down.

Normally I do prefer the process of my thoughts travelling down through arm and hand via pencil to the paper in front of me. It gives me somehow more satisfaction than typing. But this way it's soo much easier to edit and actually read what I've written before, something that is not always possible because my handwriting is atrocious. So, electronic paper it is!

I'm not even sure where this need to write comes from but I had this for some time. When I had just finished reading the first book from John Strelecky (Das Cafe am Rande der Welt), I had the sudden strong need to write my thoughts down. So I did just that but never had given it a thought about publishing them on a blog.

By now I like this need to take over and see where it leads me. Something I had to learn to do.

I have written other texts, even a poem, before but never published them. Sure some blog entries about my journey to and from Mongolia (not online any more) but never something like this.

The idea to write more and maybe even stories came from my therapy lady after telling her about one of my many dreams. She thought it might be a good idea to make a short story out of it because it was different and weirder than my usual stuff.

We had talked before about me writing more because I had told her about the need to write after reading the book I mentioned above.

It gives me joy, like writing my diary every day. Different I know, but also a place to start from and learn more about oneself.

Anyway, after my first reaction of "What me, writing, seriously?", I started to think more about it and at the end I decided to give it a go. What could go wrong?

The story I'm talking about is in German and not quite finished yet but I will publish it soon.

I'm very well aware that I'm not a writer nor do I aspire to be one, I just want to get the stuff out of my head and explore another side of me.

Also having to talk to myself all the time is getting boring and weird, especially when I answer back...

Normally I would talk to my friends and that mostly helps but even friends get tiered of me when I want to talk over and over about the same shit, just because I still haven't finished dissecting a subject.

But there is another reason for it!

Many years ago I learned that if something is bothering you, it can help to write it down and get it that way out of your system.

I find it helps me in most cases to put things aside or even to find closure about something. Like if you need to talk to a person which isn't available any more or doesn't want to talk to you.