HSP

HSP stands for Highly Sensitive Person, and that's what I am.

Even though I passed my half a century age a while back, I didn't find out till recently that I'm an HSP.

It all started with my therapy in 2021, which ended in April 2023. After about 18 months of therapy, I felt a lot better and knew so much more about myself.

But at the end of 2023 I started to feel down again, and after two months of ups and downs, I decided to start therapy again, because I was afraid to fall into this hole again, I only recently got out of.
To my surprise, I started to get better again after Christmastime, but since I had a date booked with my therapy lady, I thought I go anyway and see what it does to me.

I don't know how she does it, but she managed, just like the very first time, to poke me right in the perfect spot. Something I really like her for! Even though the first time, it really hurt.

Apart from other stuff, I had 'complained' that I was still way too sensitive. A certain piece of music, a sad film or just a good advert, and the tears in my eyes.
Something that had developed through my therapy, and I had hoped to lose again at some point.
She suggested that I was maybe highly sensitive (she is always very careful with her words). My reaction to that was that it is possible, and I would accept it, but would still hope that it would pass by. It can get annoying at times.

At home, I started to do some research on the matter and took three or four online tests. I know that these tests are not a substitute for seeing an educated person about this, but they can give you a hint in the right direction.
Well, what can I say, on a scale from one to seven, I'm a six. A rather clear result, you might say.

After doing those tests, I thought about my life and how well these results would fit in, and it was like the last missing piece.
For a moment I had this feeling of absolutely clarity, and I knew that this is right.

There are many versions of HSP's because humans are rather complex. I don't fit in any category, either. It's like a depression, everybody has a different experience and everybody needs to do different things to get better.
The difference is that depressions are an illness, being HSP is NOT. It's a part of who you are!

Again, I wonder why I couldn't see it myself? Just like with the depression, I needed somebody else to give me the needed hint/information. But I'm grateful that I had help, because it makes thing so much easier. So, if you're unsure, go and talk to a professional, they don't bite.

The only thing I need to do now, is to find out how to take advantage of my new-found gift.